I did… I said never again.

I said I hated it and I wouldn’t ever do another one.

I wrote about it a lot… here and here

Well… I may have changed my mind.

Its ok…I can do that, I am allowed 🙂 I make my own rules you know 😛

In case you haven’t already guessed, I am talking about running. Specifically running races, and even more specifically running a half marathon.

Yes…that’s right, after several strong hints, you have guessed it! I have signed up to run another half marathon. Brighton half marathon on 25th Feb 2018 to be precise.

I suppose that I have a little bit of explaining to do…

I have been thinking about this for a while, I have actually been putting some serious thought into whether this is a good idea or whether I should just let the whole thing go. This is the first difference between this time and the last time. Last time it was a spur of the moment decision made after a little persuasion from  my friend Rachel who wanted someone to run with her and convince her to train. Don’t get me wrong, I decided to do it of my own free will, but I didn’t have the idea for myself and I never really wanted to do it for the right reasons.

I didn’t do the last one because I wanted to run a half marathon, I did it to help out a friend. Which is all well and good, but it didn’t really set my head off in the right place. I was negative about the whole thing from the outset.

This time it is different. I have thought, a lot…and bored people talking at them about it. I have decided that I want to do another one.

Not “I feel I should”

Not “It would be a good thing to do for charity”

I want to run (or walk/run) a half marathon. I want to do it for the following reasons:

• I want to run a half marathon to prove to myself that I can.
  I know this seems odd as I have already done one, but the experience of the last one was so bad that I have discounted it in my head)
• I want to see what I can do with the right training and the right food and basically the right versions of everything I got wrong in the last one.
• I want to do it to prove to myself I can stick at things and improve, to prove I am not a failure.
  Yes…I do feel like one after the failed walk and the disastrous last half…I know I am not one in general, but sometimes we have to do things to banish the feeling.
• I want to run a half marathon for me.

So that is it, me running a half marathon because I want to… noone forcing me, noone pressuring me to do it, just me against myself.

I *could* just go out and train for a half marathon and run the distance with no race I suppose…but I want an official tick. I want a deadline and a designated place and time to do it. I like to have something tangible to train for.

Also I like shiny medals…

Not that you are really allowed to go around wearing your medals…not for more than one day any way…

I don’t see why not though…I might do this time…I fully intend to be proud of myself at the end and not just grumpy and broken!

In fact I am going to try not to be grumpy at all during this process…

Ok…no that is a complete lie..I will be grumpy sometimes but I am determined not to be sad and angry throughout the race!

I will, of course, keep you informed about how my training is going! The very first thing I need to do is figure out a training plan…and how to run… and how to eat while running and drink… ok…I’ll take those one at a time…

but for now…